Wednesday 22 October 2014

A little in love

There are certain places in life where you just feel comfortable. Most would think of home, or the place where your family resides or used to live, but as we get older these comforting places become more and more obvious to us, and they are further afield than we would have ever thought before.

These places may not want to be where you want to live, or the place you want to spend the rest of your life, but they will always mean something to you for one reason or another.

Currently I am writing this blog in the student union of Leeds University. I have come to visit my friend, Anna, as she lives in the city and studies Environmental Science here. Universities ‘up North’ never appealed to me, but in truth, I never even bothered looking at them. Maybe I should have.

Although I have barely spent two days here, and have hardly explored even a fraction of the city, I believe that Leeds is beautiful. I could be looking through Autumn-tinted glasses (a season which for me has taken on a certain unexplainable and incomparable beauty this year), but I still believe what I am seeing is true.

The student union itself is HUGE, and we haven’t exactly visited every nook and cranny - the bars, clubs and cafes all seem to have a different feel and atmosphere, each suiting the person it sits and holds within its walls. Me and Anna are sat on a big, diner-like table, on the upper floor of The Refectory, which is a very large cafe/restaurant. Downstairs there are many students sat round table eating, drinking, working and chatting, but upstairs is a slightly different story. We can still hear the hustle and bustle of the people below, but it’s a lot quieter on the upper level. There are less people and more space, so we are both getting some work done. For me this is a lot easier: my work has no deadlines, no critic apart from myself. I’m editing a video, and writing this blog as a bit of a creative break. Unfortunately Anna is trying to tackle Chemistry, a rather lacking and difficult part of her course. Judging by the look on her face, I don’t think she’s too pleased about it. As I said to her, I’d offer to help, but I am “more pants than you”. Direct quote there.

Anyway, back to what I was saying.

The union, based off my brief experience within it, seems to be a good place to socialise as well as study. The current window we are sat by does not provide many distractions, but nonetheless other parts of Leeds would certainly want me, and maybe force me, to give up my books. The park we walked through on the way here was composed of Autumnal reds and oranges, and the winds we are receiving from the tail-end of Hurricane Gonzalo made the leaves swirl around us - it was magic.

My arrival here yesterday showed me the more commercial side of Leeds. The Trinity Shopping Centre seemed light and bright, with weird and wacky and alternative shops/cafes, as well as the hipster favourites (i.e Costa and Starbucks). I have not explored this place as much yet, but I plan to, and I want to do some shopping there before I leave.

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I know this is a bit of a strange blog, not like one I've done before. I’m writing this part the next day back in Anna’s flat.

I guess the point I was trying to make was that, despite the fact I have spent such little time here, I feel at home, I feel comfortable.

I like my surroundings, I like the park, I like the city, I just like it. And the longer I spend here, it’s becoming more of a special place for me.


I think I may be a little in love with Leeds.

Tuesday 10 June 2014

Boobs - Insecurities and Why Checking Them IS Important | Important Issues

I've suddenly become inspired, so I'm going to write about something which has recently become an important subject to me.


Hi guys, I hope you're having a good week.

As you can tell from the title, this week's blog is going to be a little more serious than usual, as I'm going to be talking about boobs. In particular the insecurities that come alongside them, and the cancer that can sometimes inhabit them.

Now, I'm going to be honest, I know I have big boobs. They are above the average size for women in the UK (I just checked). 

People tell me I'm lucky, and I guess in a way I am. I am certainly lucky for most aspects of my life: I have a lovely family, live in a nice home, have had a good education, and live in a country where I have the right to vote, the right to speak up, and the right for my own freedom. But, when it comes to breast size, I wouldn't really say I'm 'lucky'. 

Yes, boobs ARE seen as an attractive trait, but what attracts people to each other is constantly changing all the time. Boobs vs Butt is a popular debate, Jock vs Geek another. But in all honesty, and I know it sounds cliche, I think it'd be a whole lot nicer if people found each other based on personality. But in this superficial society be seem to have become in recent years, I know this is a far off goal, yet I'd like to think it's somewhat achievable.

All I know and feel about my boobs is that they are my own. And they are not something I'm going to be embarrassed to talk about anymore, so prepare yourselves for some home truths.

I have to deal with the positives and the negatives. I can fill certain styles of dresses, but there are some clothes that will just never fit me simply because my chest is large. This can be annoying, and sometimes upsetting - what looks great on a flat chested woman will NEVER fit me, but this is something I am beginning to accept. As I said before, large breasts are sometimes seen as attractive; take bikinis for example. Those items of clothing are usually advertised being worn by medium to large breast sized models. But, walking around H&M the other day with my friends, I could not find ONE swimsuit that I could have bought, simply because they didn't have my size. I've found this with underwear too. Manufacturers and designers seem to make most clothing, swimsuits and underwear look aesthetically pleasing for the smaller chested women out there. And yes, I AM aware there are special stores for the bigger breasted women, but why should I have to go out my way and sometimes spend MORE money just because I have more breast tissue than another human being? Now I know I may be biased, but that just doesn't seem fair to me.

Health is also a worry, no matter how big or small your 'nunga nungas' are. Back pain for one is very common in women with bigger boobs. I get it sometimes, and it's obviously not the nicest of feelings - PAIN being the operative word. 

All of these points are some of the reasons why I occasionally feel upset when I know other girls are jealous of my breast size. They SHOULDN'T be. But, at the same time, I envy them also. There are clothes they wear that I would LOVE to, but I just can't, and I'm sure a lot of people feel the same.

I think it's the age old theory: you always want what you can't/don't have.

I could stress that we should all feel comfortable in our own bodies - that would be ideal! But in this day and age there are so many different influences that you can't help but feel either uncomfortable, or unhappy about your body in some way (this goes for guys also). It is a RARITY to feel 100% happy with how you look: I know for me I'd like slightly smaller boobs, bum and thighs! But hey, KFC, Nutella and doughnuts are good, so we can't all get what we want!

But, I do feel that the first step to being COMFORTABLE and HAPPY with our bodies AND ourselves, is to talk about it. Which is why, I no longer feel ashamed or embarrassed to discuss my body with my family and friends, and now, the internet. Obviously there is a time and place - I'm not just going to stand up in the middle of an important meeting and talk about my bowel movements (at least I hope not) - but the time to start talking and listening is NOW. And with the internet, we can reach more people than ever.

It's not just insecurities that I wanted to go into today, but also some of the potential health issues having boobs can bring. I've mentioned back pain, but Breast Cancer is what I want to focus on.


"Having big boobs just means there's more of them to worry about."

I think I'm right in saying that 1 in 3 people will either get or be affected by cancer in some way during their lifetime. I myself, know at least 4 people who have had some form of cancer. Two survived and kicked cancer in the ass, and one of those two went on to become my best friend. Another went on the suffer from another 3 types of cancer, and battled against every single one - an absolutely extraordinary woman. But unfortunately, my Auntie Barbara passed away about two years ago. She lost her fight, but she will never be forgotten.

But my point is, you will be affected, either by someone you know, or by contracting a type of cancer yourself. These days it's a horrible fact we are going to have to come to terms with.

Recently I had to go to the doctors to get checked out, because I thought that I might have had lump in one of my breasts. As it turns out, it was nothing, and I hope it will never become ANYTHING, but you can never be too careful. I'd wanted to get checked for a while, but I'd started to feel a bit scared about it, and it was a little daunting as I thought of the worst outcomes, so I began to push it to the back of mind and had started to forget about it. 


DO NOT DO THIS.

I knew it'd be nothing, but you can never know this for sure unless you get checked by a doctor. Yes, cancer in women my age is uncommon, cancer in young women as a whole is uncommon, but it's NOT impossible.

An example of this is Kris Hallenga

On Sunday June 8th, I watched a programme on BBC1 called 'Kris: Dying to Live'

Let me start off by saying that Kris is an inspirational young woman, and that is in no way an empty compliment. Watching her story really brought home to me how fortunate I am health-wise, and made me see how easily everything can crumble down around you. This is one reason why I am doing The Year-Long Project - I want document myself at a time where, for the most part, everything is going good, 'cause you never know what's going to happen next.

Kris was diagnosed when she was 23, and has battled through more relating problems since. Her cancer is terminal, and although she may be scared, uncertain and overwhelmed, she sure as heck uses what energy and time she has left for doing good. Kris and Maren (Kris's twin sister) set up 'CoppaFeel!', a charity which encourages and reminds women all over the country, if not the world, to check their breasts. Checking is the first step - if you notice anything untoward and it turns out to be cancer, you could have discovered it early enough to prevent it from spreading.


Knowing your boobs could save your life.

Since creating the charity, 'CoppaFeel!' has developed and expanded. Kris and Maren, along with their team, travel the country on the festival circuit to spread the CoppaFeel! message, and they even have their own festival event called 'Festifeel'. I particularly like this idea, not just because it spreads their important message in a fun way that will interest and connect people through music and entertainment, but because of the word-play in the title. I'm a sucker for word-play.

Kris is one of the inspirations for me writing this blog. I'd already shared my personal 'boob experience' with my friends, but this message needs to be spread further. One of Kris's aims is to get cancer education and boob checking into schools. This would get the message out to more people, and I think it is a great idea. If we all knew about the importance of checking earlier, cancer would stand less of beating us. CoppaFeel!'s latest campaign would also get the message physically into every town in every city - really, through your bra. Read about it here.

The same goes for guys as well - check yourselves. Men can develop Breast Cancer too, and Testicular Cancer is known for being more common among younger men. Knowing your body and checking yourself regularly could save your lives too, guys.

My overall message here, if you hadn't already guessed, is to CHECK YOURSELVESIt really could be vital.


Thank you so much if you've stuck with me this far. This is a subject that I've begun to feel quite passionate about lately.

I do realise this is a long blog, but I hope that if you've read until the end that you don't feel like you've wasted your time. If I can educate at least ONE person from this, then I've helped the cause and done my part. But I hope that the message will reach far more than one, and I intend to help out with CoppaFeel! if I can in the future.

Have a good week, and don't let this blog get to you in a negative way, LIFE IS AWESOME too, even if crappy things like cancer exist. Live your life guys, have fun with it.

If you want to find out more about checking yourselves and other cancer charities and how to get involved, please check out the links below.

Thank you Xxx

If you're unsure exactly how you should be checking your boobs, or what you should be looking for, here is some CoppaFeel! information: Boob Check

If you're a forgetful person, try checking yourself once a month on the same date, or, girls, when you have your period. CoppaFeel! also provide a reminder service via text or email. I've signed up, and you can too if you click here: http://coppafeel.org/remind-me/

Cancer Research obviously knows a lot more than me about ALL kinds of cancers - check them out if you want to: http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/

But, despite the many advantages of the internet, not everybody online is a medical professional! If you're at all worried or have any health questions, go and see your local GP.

If you'd like to keep up with Kris and CoppaFeel!, follow them on Twitter: @KrisPoB and @CoppaFeelPeople